When I Feel No More

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When I Feel No More

 

I make art, more than any other reason, to return.

No matter my loss, with time, I heal... I must, to love.

With time I feel less, and at times, I feel no more.

I feel less, for otherwise I would not recover from the wound of my grief. Never.

Music, art, and words soften my return to places and people that otherwise I would loose, forever.

 

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This artwork was created as my early response to the war in Ukraine that began 24 February 2022. As with all my work, its title is as significant as what is seen.

'When I Feel No More' alludes to those who might at first appear erased from the world. It also alludes to those who remain, traumatised by war's violence.

I began this work after reading and improving an extract from my collected thoughts With and Alone.

The image is of a person full with history etched upon their surface. On the left, their representation gradually comes into view from the splintered background. It is as if the person is being absorbed by the world, and that without recording their spirit, despite its vibrance and power, over time, their face and form would fade from view. Shape, colour, and contrast intensifies as I move my gaze towards the right. Here is where I experience their life most vividly. Here is where a person's life remains strong in my memory and heart. The painting becomes testament to those who may otherwise become unremembered.

The image and words speak of the importance of making, even during times of great despair. Violence is of the moment, is terrifying, and destroys, but it has no power to last, although its consequences can be felt for many years. In contrast, those things we build through compassion and love often continue with as much force into the distant future as when they were first expressed.

We are stronger for our care and love of others, not weaker.